Story and photos by Lisa Price

 Darn, there was one, but a tire must have gone right over the head, crushing the skull. Steve Shaffer checked on his daughter, Lacy, still asleep in her car seat. He'd been driving back roads for a couple of hours, leaning forward in hope and scanning the road at the limit of his high beams. The beetles were hungry. He needed a road kill bad, or else he's be out shooting ground hogs again after work tomorrow.

Photo: A rack that's 'beetled' while in velvet will become as white as the skull.

Lacy is now 10 years old, and she enjoys great popularity during show-and-tell at school. After all, it's not your average kid who has a collection of skulls that includes skunks, porcupines, coyotes, wolves, lynx, bobcats, wolverines, muskrats, beavers, black bears, grizzly bears, snapping turtles, alligators, piranhas, mountain lion, catfish, boar, mink, otter, chipmunks, squirrels, turkeys, antelopes, many species of deer and even an entire snake--ribs and all. In fact, she and her mom, Deb, were important backers of Steve's quest to establish a Dermestid beetle colony and skull cleaning business.

I mean, think about it. Ladies, this might make you a little bit more tolerant of that beer can collection, the one he swears will be worth thousands some day. And just for giggles, guys, try this one out on your wife: "Hey, honey, what do you think about having a skull cleaning business? In the basement, yeah, over by the washer and dryer. The skulls? In the freezer until the beetles are ready. Oh, once the colony is established, more than 60,000 beetles, but I swear, you'll never know they're there unless you open the lids."

Photo: Shaffer keeps his beetle colonies in galvanized steel tanks, outfitted with exhaust vents and temperature controls.

Deb Shaffer explains, "Steve has always been a trapper, and into anything that has to do with the outdoors. Fur are beautiful, and what's underneath can be beautiful too, in its own way."

It took more that a year before the beetle colonies were firmly established, and about two years ago Shaffer started running ads for the business and accepting skulls from customers. He calls his business M.O.A. Custom Skulls. The M.O.A. comes from a shooter's term meaning "minute of angle," a 1-inch shot group at 100 yards. The majority of the skulls the colonies clean are white-tailed deer. Shaffer believes people don't want to pay for a regular taxidermist mount ($350), but don't want to just stick the skull and antlers out on the garage either. So they opt for beetles ($60).

Photo: The beetles and larvae at work on a skull and detached jawbone.

The beetles colonies will always be works in progress and must have the proper mix of staggered ages. It's not the adult beetles that eat. Well, they eat a little, but they mostly mate and lay eggs. It's their brown larvae that do the chomping. And that stage only lasts for about 45 days. Adult beetles live for about 100 days.

"It's a balancing act," Shaffer said. "It took many, many skulls to maintain the colonies at this point. Unless you're going to do it as a business. I wouldn't advise trying it on your own."

Shaffer keeps his colonies in galvanized metal stock tanks, from small to large (big enough for a moose skull with antlers). The large tank colony numbers about 30,000, he estimates, although he's never gotten them to hold still long enough to count. He outfitted the tanks with fans that exhaust to the outdoors. Without the fans, condensation would run down the sides of the tanks and into the beetle bedding, which is similar to bedding for worms. And, the more they eat, the more they, well, you know...so the skulls rest on Plexiglas sheet bordered by a thick bead of caulking.

Photo: Lacy Shaffer's skull collection is a hit at outdoors exhibits and show-and-tell!

By the way, the business is now located away from the house in a small building constructed shortly after an escaped adult beetle briefly explored the kitchen floor.

"It took me three or four generations, or about four months, to get enough of a colony that could clean one bear skull," Shaffer explained. "The skull has to be thawed when it's given to the beetles, and the key is to have enough beetles to clean whatever skull you want to do in about 12 hours."

In an ideal colony, there are about 10 larvae for every beetle. After 12 hours, the flesh on the skull will start to rot and get an odor. The colony doesn't want anything to do with it after that. In fact, the beetles and the larvae are very finicky about such things. They won't eat flesh that has become liquefied with rot. The temperature has to be around 80 degrees; they won't eat at all if it's below 70.

"When the colony had the right ages, from the wee little ones to the adults, and I put a skull in there, it should be covered within a half hour," Shaffer said. "I only give them one skull at a time so they can concentrate on it. If it's a small skull, I've got to keep an eye on it because they can actually move it around."

Photo: A finished sheep skull with and without the sheaths.

After taking a skull out of the freezer and letting it thaw, Shaffer skins it, removes as much of the flesh as possible, cuts out the eyes and scrapes out the brain matter. For deer species, he also removes the lower jaw, which is usually not wanted for a European mount. In fact, some hunters do much of that work before shipping a skull, because the reduction in weight lowers the shipping costs.

"I never want anyone to ship me something without calling, so that I can be sure I'll be home when the skull arrives. I don't want anything to sit in my driveway and spoil," Shaffer said. "Usually, the turn-around from shipping the skull to having it cleaned, whitened and returned is from six weeks to three months."

Don't say "bleached" around Shaffer. He won't reveal how he makes the skulls as white as snow, but he definitely doesn't use any bleach. Although he keeps that part of his business a secret, his business itself is not.

"The people I work with have all kinds of names for me now: Beetle Bailey, Skull Boy, Bug Man," said Shaffer, who is employed at a factory near his home in Cambridge, Ohio. "And they say that it figures I'd pick a business that's a no-brainer."

Lisa Price

   Print Article