Register  | Login
  Search
Buckmasters Forums
How to win the war
Last Post 26 Jul 2007 04:17 PM by od green. 16 Replies.
Printer Friendly
Sort:
PrevPrev NextNext
You are not authorized to post a reply.
Author Messages
Conner Spohn
6 Point
6 Point
Send Private Message
Posts:227

--
18 Jul 2007 01:08 PM  

I'm over 70 and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. (You can't be older than 42 to join the military.)
They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 40.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.

Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts! I'm hungry! Where's the remote?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to drink. The average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer, and a jaunt through the desert heat with a beer and an M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly. (Note there are 24 hours in a day and 24 bottles in a case...another convenient way to measure time!)

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old guys always get up early to pee.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns.

We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt now, "Get down and give me ... ER ... One."

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his shorts sticking out. He's hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda can rupture an eardrum, and that a baseball cap has a brim to shade eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked us on September 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old geezers with attitudes.

Phoenix
Button Buck
Button Buck
Send Private Message
Posts:93

--
18 Jul 2007 03:00 PM  
HOOOAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
To Hunt or Not to Hunt, that is the question? While your pondering that, i'll be in the woods. My Values are the Army Values; Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, Personal Courage.
Pfc. Chris Smith
tubby
Buckmaster
Buckmaster
Send Private Message
Posts:2149

--
18 Jul 2007 03:37 PM  
Overhill,you are tha man!Old people with attitudes,who would have ever thought!
Tubby
The God of My Rock;He Is My Sheild;And The Horn Of My Salvation 2 Samuuel,Ch 22
james buck
Button Buck
Button Buck
Send Private Message
Posts:8

--
18 Jul 2007 04:39 PM  
Lol that is very true. Some of the old people i deal with at work are SCARRY.
Firepoggy
8 Point
8 Point
Send Private Message
Posts:325

--
18 Jul 2007 05:16 PM  
Now that was funny
To Authenticate the posting experience, this post may contain impact shots.
MelSue
Forum Administrator
Buckmaster
Buckmaster
Send Private Message
Posts:953

--
18 Jul 2007 06:01 PM  
Posted By j.buck on 07/18/2007 10:39 AM
Lol that is very true. Some of the old people i deal with at work are SCARRY.




 Amen

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Rilla
Button Buck
Button Buck
Send Private Message
Posts:58

--
18 Jul 2007 06:10 PM  
ain't that the truth!!!! Amen to ya'
7MM Rem. Mag. reach out and touch something!!
Jeremiah Johnson
6 Point
6 Point
Send Private Message
Posts:114

--
18 Jul 2007 10:24 PM  
LOL the older I get the crankier I get, just ask my wife.
rackaholic1989
6 Point
6 Point
Send Private Message
Posts:162

--
19 Jul 2007 11:50 PM  
darn cranky old people lol jk jk thats funny tho
If Its Brown It's Down!
Deer Hunter
Button Buck
Button Buck
Send Private Message
Posts:4

--
20 Jul 2007 09:11 PM  
Well I have to agree with that,with the boys and all,but what about the girls?Are you afraid that they can beat those whiney babies that they call men.Yeah we sure can!Girls have just as much reputation as the guys do we were put on gods gree earth for a reason,and that's not just to be house wives or slaves to the abusive men.We are able to fight just as much!


(I may have gone a little overboard on that one,my friend died in the war and he belived girls are just as strong as men.)
hobocr
Button Buck
Button Buck
Send Private Message
Posts:35

--
20 Jul 2007 10:52 PM  
I know a couple that would go, just to get away from doing honey-do's
eversboys
6 Point
6 Point
Send Private Message
Posts:111

--
22 Jul 2007 04:41 PM  
Fall! in , Receive the report,

Report! 1st Platoon 100 assigned, 98 present, 1 watching the morning news, 1 making hot coffee.

Overhill, you are a real patriot. They should have called you instead of Mel Gibson.
move once, ive gotcha
move twice, youre dead
Conner Spohn
6 Point
6 Point
Send Private Message
Posts:227

--
23 Jul 2007 12:08 PM  
Posted By deerhuntinggal on 07/20/2007 3:11 PM
Well I have to agree with that,with the boys and all,but what about the girls?Are you afraid that they can beat those whiney babies that they call men.Yeah we sure can!Girls have just as much reputation as the guys do we were put on gods gree earth for a reason,and that's not just to be house wives or slaves to the abusive men.We are able to fight just as much!


(I may have gone a little overboard on that one,my friend died in the war and he belived girls are just as strong as men.)

Ladies are welcome too.   But once ya start nagging, your out.
Ronald Ray Jr.
6 Point
6 Point
Send Private Message
Posts:298

--
23 Jul 2007 12:17 PM  
That was GOOD!!!
Ronald Lee Ray Jr.
rrjr11@cox.net
Disabled Navy Veteran
cfiloteo3
6 Point
6 Point
Send Private Message
Posts:235

--
25 Jul 2007 03:39 AM  
Haha.... That was pretty good!
Crystal City,
Zavala County,
Deep South Texas
Ken
Button Buck
Button Buck
Send Private Message
Posts:26

--
25 Jul 2007 05:04 AM  
HOORAH SIR!!!!, well said. Would gladly go back active in a heart beat.
od green
Button Buck
Button Buck
Send Private Message
Posts:12

--
26 Jul 2007 04:17 PM  
Cranky old gals are more Dangerous than cranky old men !!! Believe me I'm married to one !!! I would go back in a heart beat.
You are not authorized to post a reply.

Active Forums 4.2
Pay Your Bill Online Google+ Buckmasters on Pinterest Follow Us On Instagram! LinkedIn Buckmasters on YouTube Follow Us On Twitter Buckmasters on Facebook!